We are going to continue today investigating the healthy child sexuality and the reactions we have when we see that our children begin self-exploration. We interviewed, on this occasion, the psychologist Diana Sánchez, who you can know better on her professional page and also reading the interview that Babies already conducted and more about the hypersexualization of girls.
Diana Sánchez is the mother of 2 children, psychotherapist, perinatal psychologist and sexologist, she will explain to us her vision of the process of child sexuality and help us to understand her better and act without worrying if our son "touches".
How would you define child sexuality?
Child sexuality is not an isolated event from the life of the human being. We are sexual beings from birth to death. That is why, when talking about Child Sexuality, one should not be afraid, since it is a natural process, just as it is that the child begins to experiment first with the mouth, then with the touch, through his skin, his genitals They were not going to be less.
Do children masturbate?
Child masturbation is a topic that generates very contrary feelings in parents, sometimes even anxiety and fear, without knowing how to react. But child masturbation is part of its evolutionary development. It is also very important that we know that, depending on how parents respond to this fact, children will generate cognitive schemes, or mental schemes, that can influence their relationship with sexuality in adulthood.
But can we compare the exploration of genitals to masturbation in adults?
Child masturbation, arises in another way, without the same meaning that masturbation has in teenagers or adults.
For children it is a discovery, they usually discover it with self-exploration, when we leave them without a diaper, and they are already curious to touch each other, and because of their body, they accidentally realize that if they touch there, they have pleasant sensations. And this is something very important for them. They realize that before an action of theirs, there is a pleasant reaction. This causes them to repeat it, and sometimes even seek relief from their anxieties through touching.
How should parents react?
Adults, we should not be afraid of this type of behavior, that occur is not a predictor or indicative of any problem, it is part of its development.
While it is true, we must explain that if they like it, they do better when they are at home and alone, since it is something private, that they can enjoy their body in moments of intimacy, since it is something that we do not do in presence of others. It is also very important that the verbal response, be consistent with the non-verbal messages, we can not tell you that nothing happens, but instead have a facial expression that indicates disapproval, or cover it compulsively. DO NOT forget that we are conditioned on your relationship with sexuality in the future.
Do children have erections?
It is quite normal for children to have erections even before birth, erections have already been recorded in the mother's womb, and this means that they already experience pleasure.
Is it normal, then, for teenagers to masturbate?
In children it is obvious, and it is considered normal for adolescents to masturbate, as part of their self-knowledge, it is even associated with a "manhood", although our culture for religious and moral influences has tried for centuries to curtail these impulses. Without much success by the way.
Should we act differently with girls?
In women, the moral and cultural restriction has been even stronger. Let us not forget that during the last century women did not have the right to enjoy sex, which was purely with a reproductive function. Thanks to the advances made in the twentieth century, women have gained ground and we can talk about our sexuality as part of our lives. And girls, they also feel pleasure when they touch each other, we must also be attentive to them, and be more careful so that they understand the importance, that their body is theirs, and nobody else's, and that they should not stop exploring themselves, but if be careful not to do it in inappropriate contexts.
What can we explain to children?
We are not going to talk to a 6-year-old boy or girl about "intercourse." But we can explain the parts of his body, those of the opposite sex, and explain that his body is wonderful and works very well. As well as solving your doubts, whenever you ask us questions, it is best to answer them naturally, without taboos or fears.
They are more receptive than we think, and they assimilate much more naturally and without fear than we think.
We thank the psychologist Diana Sánchez the interview she has given to Babies and more and we hope it has helped you to better understand the reality that children explore themselves in their sexuality and it is healthy and normal for them to do so.
