We have talked about prolonged breastfeeding the preceding weeks. However, given that, as I said, the duration of human breastfeeding would naturally be between two and a half and seven years, in most cultures, breastfeeding, such as childbirth or the education of children, has It was an aspect that was heavily intervened by customs or norms, often based on prejudices or the need for control over very private functions.
Today we will talk about ways of defend our prolonged breastfeeding.
That said, we can understand better the pressures that mothers usually face They decide not to wean until their child wants it and spend the year or two years continuing to breastfeed. They are transgressors in one of the societies that least breastfeed and for less time do so in the History of Humanity.
Well, although the process is now changing and there is a greater awareness of the value of human milk, there are also many misconceptions about whether milk feeds from a certain time or that breastfeeding more than a certain time produces emotional problems in children, all false but believed by many people.
However, the one who prolonged breastfeeding is still a minority option although growing, moms and dads are going to find very harmful comments and may need defense strategies.
Ignorance is bold
Ignorance is often bold and inconsiderate. That someone, who is not responsible for our upbringing, approaches us and gives us advice without any basis, is a lack of respect that we should not allow, responding without aggressiveness but clearly.
Even if we are vulnerable, we can control ourselves, stop bad education and lack of consideration and, at best, offer them updated information or simply put on an empty smile and then continue doing whatever they want.
Sometimes I think that we are in a time when "I think" has become a comfortable position that allows us to hold ideas without any foundation with the peace of mind of not considering it necessary to support them in any data, study or personal work. At best, it is easy to support the opinion in what is usual, socially accepted, as if that gave weight to the arguments.
When someone thinks about breastfeeding by having clear the reasons we have and the information we know, we can respond to bold ignorance with education. But I don't think it's good to let anyone step on us to avoid a disgust, not with the neighbor, the mother-in-law or with a friend who seems to be offended every time we breastfeed.
One thing is clear, who knows about breastfeeding really won't attack prolonged breastfeeding. Normally unfortunate attacks and comments are born of ignorance, some envy or prejudice without any foundation.
Beware of cognitive dissonance
In breastfeeding issues this effect is very pronounced. "I think it can't be good for a 3/4/5 year old to take the tit, that's not normal," is a soft comment that we can hear. A comment that arises from the lack of information and knowledge, without a doubt.
In fact, it is of little value to that person that we explain that his belief has no basis, or that we give him scientific data on human breastfeeding, its calculated duration or the same studies that WHO accepts on how it relates to Better physical health or even greater intelligence. All those studies will be nonsense for her.
But if we give well-founded reasons why breastfeeding is healthier and produces psychological and intellectual benefits, the interlocutor may even perceive an attack, causing misunderstanding and even anger. That we decide to breastfeed until natural weaning because we are convinced that it is the best for our child does not mean that whoever does not think the same or does not know the same or cannot do the same is worse mother. It's about our reasons and decisions, nothing more. But we will not always be able to convey that idea clearly.
Questioning whether our social environment, our experiences or our decisions are the best is a very hard task. Facing an idea that you are not prepared to assimilate can produce that, instead of understanding us, whoever receives information feels attacked. Let's understand that this happens to us too. We must be subtle and delicate, assertive, but I repeat, without letting ourselves be stepped on.
Really giving reasons, emotional, personal or scientific is something that we should value on each occasion. The reasons we have for choosing a form of parenting or breastfeeding are nobody's business. Now, if they tell us that they are going to be in love or that our milk no longer feeds, then we can defend our choice. It would be more. Sometimes we shut up for not having confrontations, but making it clear that we are going to be respected is important to maintain a fair and healthy relationship with our environment.
Cause cognitive dissonanceIf it is not a sought-after strategy, it is not usually the best system to achieve harmony in these matters, although, if what we are looking for is that they leave us as impossible and intractable, it works great.
There really is no safe formula to respond to attacks on prolonged breastfeeding, it depends on our character and the person who makes the comments, but, in general, for defending our position is always better to be polite and firm, with information and security, but with the clear idea that nobody has the right to disrespect us, nor should we consent from the first moment. We will see some more ideas in the next topic and while, surely you can tell us some experiences or suggestions to respond to the typical comments on breastfeeding.
Babies and more | Does it make sense to talk about prolonged breastfeeding ?, Breastfeeding according to an anthropologist from Atapuerca, Video: prolonged breastfeeding
