The maternity, in the months of pregnancy, it is something idealized. We wait for our baby ready to live the great love, the perfect idyll, to give ourselves to this new stage of our life with confidence and sweetness.
But the reality may be different and prepare thoroughly and consciously for motherhood It is one of the tasks that every pregnant woman should take as a priority, because it is as important for her mental health as it is for physics to go to medical check-ups. Our life will change as it will never change again.
The return home
They deliver that wonderful baby, healthy and precious. We return home but nothing is as simple as we anticipated. The couple should return to work soon and after the first few days the help and attention of the family may decrease.
The ideal moms we see in magazines and TV are always neat and smiling, and their babies, sweet and clean, look like angels instead of children. But when each evening arrives, our partner finds us exhausted, without even showering, and overwhelmed by the housework and the care of the baby.
The boy cries and has stained several pijamitas that are piled up in the bathroom, you feel like crying. Your husband does not understand what happens, you both thought that, after those first days, everything would be like a dream. But it's not like that. Are we unable to deal with something as simple as being mothers, or is it that the image we both made did not fit the reality of things?
Dad and mom we have to really prepare for the new situation. Babies are interactive beings, who need permanent attention, which require a lot of care and, above all, that are not predictable. They neither eat every four hours, nor do they sleep when we wait, or take care of their clothes, nor are they always in a good mood.
Although it seems paradoxical, the easiest way to have more time is to spend all the time being with the baby. Newborns usually feel happier and calmer if their mother carries them in their arms or in a shoulder bag at all hours and suffer from less mood problems, sleep difficulties and feeding if they have free and continuous access to the chest. Trying to sleep a newborn in a crib can become a nightmare, or insist on taking it "when it touches". Throwing the clock and looking for the fusion with the baby helps us to find ourselves much more serene, with confidence in ourselves and to have a happier, better-humored and collaborative baby.
The midwife and the family
Count on a trusted midwife It is another of the foundations of a more confident and calm beginning of motherhood. The mother can trust her doubts during pregnancy and also turn to her later, instead of listening to too many contradictory tips that add her to the restlessness. Of course, as I said, the midwife should enjoy our confidence and have previously contrasted with her if her orientation is what makes us feel more protected and well informed.
If a woman from our family It makes us feel good, it teaches us how to do those things that we never thought were so complicated, such as cutting the fingernails, giving the newborn a bath or changing the diaper, we can go to her and ask her to accompany us. However, I also advise talking about this before the puerperium, to make sure that your help will not be taxable and will know how to respect us as adults and mothers. Mothers and mother-in-law sometimes feel that they are overreached and can make us feel, despite their love and dedication, sad and not valued.
Do not be afraid to ask for help and leave those first weeks planned. Family members and friends can help us a lot, but not coming to put coffee and make baby carantos, but to see if we need to make the purchase, or better yet, committing to clean the house, put the washing machines or bring the Food a few days. Really there is no better gift than that.
Other important aspects
Recent moms need to rest, feed properly, feel safe and protected, and at the same time recognize that they are powerful and valid. If you have had a C-section or an episotomy, the pain can be great and it is dangerous to force yourself, nobody with an operation of this size gets up to do laundry after three days. We would not have to do it either. For that reason, as I explained before, it is convenient to organize the necessary help from family, friends or a doula.
For the mother it is good to go out and walk. Fresh air and exercise help you feel better and then rest more deeply. In the walks and visits it is convenient to take a firm attitude that the hands of the newborn are touched with the washed hands and prevent cold people from approaching them. A disease in the first month, even if it is benign in adults, can easily be complicated in a baby.
Before birth we must prepare ourselves to know how to say that not without being rude, then, in this and other matters, we will be responsible for a new life and no fear should stop us from defending what we consider best for them.
Father's role
The person who can help us the most and who is also facing a new vital situation is our partner. His role in the family is now different and, in the case of parents first-time, they may feel disoriented, without knowing what their role is. The couple must take on household chores and take care of them, also making an effort that will never be as strong as the one the mother makes 24 hours a day. In addition, he can take care of some of the baby's care, which will make him feel more linked to the baby and with an important place in the family.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the perfect mother does not exist, there is the prepared mother. It is very important for you and your child that you anticipate the new circumstances that you are going to live. Buying the trousseau may seem very important to us, but it is more important to recognize ourselves as mothers, people capable of taking charge of our needs and those of our children, as well as knowing how to ask for help to solve the possible difficulties in the best possible way. Prepare for motherhood, in the organizational and emotional is a way to ensure a serene puerperium in which to enjoy the new reality of our life.
