As our children grow older, they begin to be more independent and no longer want to go with us to all places. And of course, when your son says "leave me alone" to parents, we are stupid and face a great dilemma. We want to continue taking care of them, but at the same time we want to promote their autonomy, their self-confidence and let them be themselves.
So far we had not let them take a step without observing them and suddenly, there comes a time when our children want to start taking off a little from us, something completely normal and healthy. Going out alone on the street is one of the first expressions of autonomy, but From what age should children be alone in the street?
Autonomy in children, a background race
Autonomy is not a condition that appears in the child from one day to the next. Not to turn 9 or 10 years means you have the maturity necessary to go out alone. And of course, not all children are prepared at the same age. Every kid is a world.
It is something that we must nurture since our children are young to learn to be Self-confident, independent and free beings.
But how? Gradually, promoting patterns of autonomy at home according to their age since they are babies, even since they begin to crawl. For example, leaving everyone at your disposal to explore and learn from their discoveries. Then, giving them small tasks of responsibility to do at home, such as setting the table, picking up or putting clothes to wash, always encouraging them to learn and without doing everything if we were their butlers.
You will think, what will all this have to do with going out? They are small life trials so that the day the child is ready to go outside he feels capable, safe and confident.
Don't force, that never works
Just as it doesn't work for the baby to start crawling or leaving the diaper, being prepared to go outside alone is a matter of maturity that should not be forced. Of course, it should be the child who asks for it and never compare it with other children his age.
Because "Fulanito" does it, your son doesn't have to be prepared to do it. It is better to wait a little longer to force him to do something with insecurity. It would be like pulling it from the nest without being ready to fly.
A first contact with the outside
Before letting the child go out alone, it is advisable to do tests within the perimeter of the house or in a known area so that they can acquire security. Start by leaving him alone at home while you go down to throw away the trash or buy the bread. At the time, ask him to do it. Take out the trash, go to a neighbor's house to take anything, or look for the mail.
If you live in a community, let the child go down for a while to play with his friends. I did it with my daughters when they were 7 and 9 years old. He gave them some basic safety rules, (not leaving the urbanization, not going up to anyone's house, not hiding in the portals, etc.) knowing that the concierge took care of the entrance door and always with a schedule in which they should go up. It is also important that they be responsible in that regard.
My oldest daughters (now 8 and 10) still don't go out alone because we live in a remote area (we don't have a bakery next to the house). So what I do is wait for them in the car and they go down to the bakery and buy the bread, or the pharmacy or whatever. They are small steps that promote their autonomy, learn to move alone in public places and to socialize with strangers.
At what age let them go out alone to the street
Well it depends on the child, the distance of the path to travel and the safety of the environment. There is no precise age, but it is not recommended before the age of seven because the child still does not have the capacity to recognize the dangers that may arise.
In our country, 70% of children aged 8 to 12 never go to school alone. From 8 years could raise a short way out, and gradually expand. Going to school alone depends on the distance from home to school, but I think not before 10-12 years. If you have the school next to home, well, but if you have to walk a few streets you should always be accompanied.
At the beginning, they should go in groups and make sure they have understood the basic rules of street safety. Today mobile phones are a great help, either to give us a touch on arrival or through applications that allow us to track the path.
Do not be afraid or excessively controlling, but inform them of the dangers of the street and how they should act before them. Then, all we have left is to breathe deeply and trust them. Releasing them is not easy, but we are proud when we see that our offspring are becoming autonomous and responsible people.
